As we wrap up this month’s discussion on self-worth and self-image, I will leave you with 10 tried and true tips to illuminate your journey and encourage you.
- Focus on your strengths. Oftentimes we focus on the mistakes we have made and the things we don’t have in our lives but if we begin to focus on all of the amazing areas that we have achieved great success in, we won’t have time to focus on the negative.
- Stop over-thinking about what others think. Most of the time, when you think you are being judged, you probably aren’t. If you don’t like a particular quality, work on changing it but don’t judge it or focus on the judgment of others.
- Learn to catch yourself when you start over-thinking.
Recognize this pattern of abuse and do something to overcome it. For example, every time you over-think, force yourself to compliment an aspect of your personality. This should help to give you a better self-esteem.
- Put things into perspective.
People who obsess about what others think tend to put ‘issues’ under the microscope and can’t see the forest for the trees. People who don’t obsess about what other people think tend to look at the big picture. To help you put things into perspective, make a list of all the things that you are grateful for; putting it into a list really helps. It makes things tangible, more real. Once you see everything that has gone right for you — maybe your family, your intelligence, your health — you begin to realize that life is more about what you do have than what you don’t have. Be appreciative of what life gives you, not resentful of what it doesn’t.
- Take pleasure in the small things in life. Begin to see beauty in everyday things, like a child playing with a dog. Take comfort in everyday things, like a warm cup of tea. Find happiness in everyday things, like a story about overcoming hardship, told by your friend.
- Be confident in yourself. What if we could eliminate the amount of times we second-guess ourselves? Well, you can. The trick, if you want to call it that, is to simply be more confident in the decisions and actions you are taking. Don’t pre-judge yourself before others do; they’ll be less likely to judge you in the first place!
Here are some small, but powerful, self-confidence boosters that you can try on for size:
- The act of smiling may boost your self-esteem organically, science suggests.
- Visualize success. Don’t think the “what if I fail…?” thoughts that are probably wandering around in your head. Instead, think to yourself: “How will I succeed?”
- Reward yourself. Don’t look to others to validate you and your actions. Break down goals into small pieces. Don’t set yourself up for failure. Set yourself up for success.
Example: If your goal is to be more confident around guys (or girls), break the goal into smaller checkpoints: eye contact, conversation, then flirting, etc.
Reward yourself when you complete a small part of each larger goal.
- Learn to control your emotions. When you start to push your limits and get more confident, you’ll undoubtedly have mixed emotions. These emotions can range from stress, worry and fear, to relief and happiness; it can be a bit of a rollercoaster of the mind. This is why commanding control of your emotions is vital.
The simple practice taught by Eckhart Tolle goes a bit like this:
- Be conscious of an emotion inside you — e.g. fear or worry
- Observe it within your mind
- Notice that if you are observing it, it can’t be a part of you
- Watch the emotion disappear
As soon as you observe an emotion, you are separating yourself from it and thus it can no longer exist.
- Accept yourself for who you are. Understandably, accepting yourself is not the easiest thing to do. Everyone in the world is filled with some kind of doubt; it’s all about how they manage it. Luckily, there are things you can do that will help. One such thing involves evaluating yourself:
First of all, think of all the things that you don’t like about yourself and write them down. Now, look at them more closely and see if there is a possibility to change them. If you aren’t willing to put in the work to change something that is fixable, you don’t have the right to complain about it. Think about how your situation could be worse. As time goes by and you realize how unimportant some of the things you worry about actually are, life gets easier and your constant concern starts to plummet as your confidence rises.
- Remove the negativity– Surround yourself with positive and uplifting people that have the ability to encourage and uplift you. Also work on being positive yourself, (even in the midst of negative situations). No one wants to be around a person who is all about doom and gloom. People will avoid you and not want to be around you.
- Make healthy choices- Eating the right foods and exercising definitely will boost your worth. You’ll feel good and you’ll look good as well.
- Know your passion– Figure out what makes you happy and get to doing it. This actually does boost your confidence and help your self –image.
If you need any help in exploring any of these areas feel free to contact me directly, at 678-585-1966 or at firstname.lastname@example.org